A new annum, a long hiatus, and the return of your favorite question and answer column, On the Q! As always, if you have any questions, queries or conundrums that you would like to submit, please fire me an email at canvas.Schleizer@gmail.com

On the Q

Q1: Little yapper dogs. What gives?

A1: Nothing gives. I have no love in my heart for a "dog" that weighs less than 25 pounds. Well except for a properly used Lhasa Apso – I mean, they were bred as guard dogs to survive on the harsh Tibetan plateau. Unfortunately, most of the fight has been taken out of them, but they can still be mean. Little yapper dogs drive me crazy, make that Crazy. Okay, I like dachsunds as well, but that's because they were bred for hunting badgers, and what isn't cool about that.

I have, for a long time, referred to little yapper dogs as punting dogs. And for you Brits, I don't mean riding in a boat with. I am referring to American football-style drop-kicking. Dogs were originally bred with some sort of service in mind, little yapper dogs don't really have a service. Some might argue that their service is pure human companionship; but I simply don't accept that. I see their service as getting in my way, annoying the hell out of me, and asking to be kicked across a room. Oh, and their use as a status symbol, don't get me started, don't even get me started.

I do not have a concrete logical argument against little yapper dogs…except they're little and they yap (isn't that enough?!). But you don't see any large, normal, better dogs in the running for world's ugliest dog.

Q2: If Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Tony the Tiger got into a fight against Captain Crunch, Snap, Crackle, Pop, and Mikey from Life Cereal, who would win?

A2: When I received this question, I'll admit I giggled a bit. It brought back many nostalgic memories from my childhood years and eating copious amounts of processed sugar.

In this particular battle royale, I believe that Mikey from Life Cereal would be the first fatality. Mikey definitely wouldn't like it when Tony the Tiger was professing, "Mikey's Grrr…reat tasting." Then those lecherous elves, Snap Crackle and Pop would attack. They would use their sonic abilities to deafen Tony the Tiger, thus allowing Cap'n Crunch to stealthily disembowel the tiger from behind.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop would then celebrate a bit too exuberantly and fall victim to their namesakes: Snap would snap..in half, Crackle would crackle and spontaneously combust, and Pop would explode. That leaves Count Chocula and Booberry against the dread pirate, Cap'n Crunch. After being in the background for so long, Booberry could no longer take being second fiddle to the Count. As the two approached the Cap'n, Booberry would pull out a garlic-soaked, sugar-free wooden stake and plunge it into Count Chocula.

Booberry and Cap'n Crunch would battle each other until they were completely exhausted. Then, out of nowhere, the Trix Rabbit and Lucky "The Leprechaun" Charms would bounce in and kill the last original challengers. Little did the competitors know that the Silly Rabbit and Lucky had banded together to become the elite cereal mascots.

If you are interested in more cereal information, I recommend surfing Topher's cereal website

Q3: Why is there only mac and pc? how come there aren't more options?

A3: This is a great question, one that I don't have a real answer for, but what the hey, this is my column and I'll waste a paragraph. This type of question reminds me of something from one of the business school classes that I had to take while completing my post-secondary edumercation. There are several economic theories regarding barriers to market entry, and I'll be damned if I can remember even one of them. Business school classes love case studies where you study companies, situations and the like. One that I remember was about barriers to market entry, I think I had to look at Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and why there weren't more major competitors in the soda industry. The same holds true to computers, methinks. Some general barriers to market entry include high cost to enter the market, brand identity, niche differentiation, product innovation and policy burdens. IBM was on top of the computer hill from the get go, Apple was able to create a product that was differentiated from the personal computers of IBM. I think there are probably many reasons why more companies didn't get into that realm, there was an easier market to sell to costumers in software, peripheral equipment, and other services. Niche differentiation occurred in a way that expanded the market instead of increasing specific computing machinery.

In the Queue

I1: Why are you so hot? Ha. Do it that would be hilarious!

I2: In "The Little Prince" how was his tiny asteroid B612 able to support an atmosphere to provide for the rose and the baobob trees that kept cropping up?

Missed the Q

It seems that this column's readership is intent only on participating on the reading end, and not on the submission side. I don't have any questions to publicly mock this time around. Make sure to send me some of your delectable inquisitive nuggets for next time… canvas.Schleizer@gmail.com.

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